some days are hard


i have noticed days lately where i feel overwhelmed. days when e is being particularly difficult or when our wills are constantly colliding. there have been moments when i just want to cry from exhaustion or frustration or just from feeling emotionally and physically spent. i often wonder in these moments, "how will i do it with another baby? how will i even begin to handle two?" the thought scares the hell out of me.

and then i sit in a chair, rocking my sweet girl to sleep, humming the tune to hallelujah, and feeling the tiny life inside of me moving. and with tears streaming, i think, "i get to do this. i get to care for two little ones who have caused my heart to expand in ways i never knew. i get to experience motherhood, with all of it's frustrations and with all of it's joy." and then the day doesn't seem so bad and the task of caring for two doesn't seem so overwhelming.