that was then, this is now

the last few weeks have been filled with crossing things off never ending to-do lists, too stressed about undone stuff to have time to notice any fear or nervousness. this is the part of moving that the nerd in me loves. i geek out over list making. sometimes i write things down that i've already done just so i can feel the accomplishment that comes from crossing them off. another part of moving that i find relieving is the purge. i am a master purger. seriously if you struggle with this, when i get home i'll come over and blow your mind. when faced with the choice of sell, give away, or throw away vs. pack, label, and lug down a flight of stairs i end up getting rid of a lot. the process allows me to take a look at all i've accumulated and decide what is most important. what do i want to take into this new life. now the contents of that life fit into an 8x8 storage room + 3 suitcases and a large dog crate filled with one very resilient dog. all those boxes will be waiting for me when i return and i wonder what will be important then.

this isn't the first time i've made a big move. literally and figuratively. 3 years ago i packed everything i owned and moved to hawaii, a move that changed my life and brought me a lot closer to myself. i find it no coincidence that that move 4500 miles west and my current move 4500 miles east are for the same amount of time. 3 months of adventure and discovery. what then was a trip to find myself now is a trip to begin my future.

the following was taken from my blog 3 years ago as i was preparing for hawaii:

"I've sold most of the stuff I have accumulated in preparation for this move and as I look around I feel a sort of emotional vacancy. I am not one to be attached to stuff but I can't help but feel a sense of loss. A loss of the experiences those possesions carried and the things they witnessed.

Now I carry with me stories
I carry my worry, I carry my concerns
I carry with me the front steps of every house I've lived in
I carry keys to the storage unit where the objects that are an extension of me are waiting for me to return
I carry my phone, full of numbers of those I call and those who don't call back
I carry my grandfather's fishing lessons, my mom's creative spririt, and my father's voice
I carry vintage scarves telling stories of another woman's adventures
And I carry every fresh start
And every final drive away
I carry the desire to go unnoticed and at the same time not be forgotten
I carry laughter
I carry Stuart Little, and Charlotte's Web, and Nancy Drew, and Pippy Longstocking, and Punky Brewster
I carry my dreams
And the dreams of my ancestors..."