thoughts lately

This blog was ressurected when i moved to switzerland as a way for my family and friends to keep up with my adventures. It became a place to document my pregnancy and then the birth and life of my Eleanor. Since we moved to Michigan I've thought about how it would evolve. Posts about our new hometown and our house started to accompany bits and pieces of our life as a family. I've  been feeling guilty for not posting lately and truly anything I do post you've already seen if you follow me on instagram. I don't want to feel like I have to blog but that is how it has been feeling. Not something I want to do but more of a hassle, one more thing on my long list. 

I have also begun to notice that I view things in light of how I will share them. Stopping to take a picture to go on the blog or narrating a post in my head. Not that any of that is bad. I've always narrated things in my head and I want to take the time to photograph a moment. But sometimes I feel like it makes me not present in the moment. Truthfully this time is far too precious to not be present. I want to spend more time experiencing and less time photographing the experience or thinking about what I will say about it.

We spent the last two weeks here in the house without internet and to be honest I hardly missed it. Once we hooked it up and I checked my bloglovin page I had 368 blog posts in my feed waiting to be read. 368 posts would make you feel like you had missed a lot but in all reality I didn't miss a thing. Reading blogs has always been a way for me to be inspired but there is a fine line between inspiration and coveting. I feel mostly like I'm peering into the lives of people that are much more creative than I am, better mothers, better photographers, better writers telling me about this next thing that I need to have or should be doing...This isn't how I want to live and it isn't the picture of a mother that I want my daughter to grow up with; a mother that is always wanting more and is dissatisfied. 


Maybe I'm going through a bit of an identity crisis both here and in real life. Maybe I've got the birthday blues. Maybe I've just outgrown blogging but I have found it to be an empty place lately. Maybe it's because I'm busy or just don't have the words but I feel myself pulling back, disconnecting. I'm not sure what this means for modern megpie. I hope you will stick with me as I figure out how to balance living my life with chronicling my life. 

weekend bits

our weekend was full of baking to fill owl+panther orders, installing more cabinets in our kitchen, installing the floor in our kitchen, a neighborhood porch party, mother's day breakfast made by my husband, a new addition to my kitchen aid family, long family walks, mommy cuddles, Skype dates with our belgian family, and a relaxing dinner at the local brewery. simply put it was a lovely weekend! i hope all you mama's had a wonderful day yesterday being celebrated. motherhood has been the best gift i've ever received and i have immense gratitude to my mom and all the other strong females in my life who have shown me how it's done and to stijn and to my eleanor for making me a mom.

happy friday

I know I've been a little distant lately and really it's not you, it's me. I just don't feel much like sharing. Call it a funk, call it exhaustion but I feel like the last few weeks have been fairly uneventful in that we engage in the same things everyday and therefore wouldn't excite you. I could write to tell you that we're working on the house again or that we're trying to find our place in a town where people dress up in Dutch costumes, dance, and eat carnival food, or that owl+panther has received three orders in the last three days. If I felt like writing I would tell you that I feel like our list of home projects are never ending and that I am overwhelmed. I would share that Eleanor has decided that the new house isn't a place where she would like to sleep and so I am going on my tenth day of no sleep. But I don't want to complain so I just haven't written.

In other news Stijn has been in LA this week and we received a surprise visit from my dear friend, Elisabeth. A few days off from the house, some corndogs and fried pickles, and trips to some local gems have been a lovely respite. Now off to go pick my husband up from the airport and get back to the real world of no sleep and home renovations.

Have a wonderful weekend friends!

weekend bits

this weekend was about getting real. getting real about the amount of work there is to do. getting real about expectations. getting real about remembering to invest in each other as much as the house.

after a serious conversation regarding how overwhelmed stijn and I were both feeling and how disconnected from each other we felt we decided to spend sunday tackling one room together. our bedroom it was and attack we did. we took down fixtures, rerouted lighting, painted the walls and the ceiling, painted our built in bookcase and it's 100 shelves, tore up the carpet, tacking strips and under layer, drank margaritas, and gave each other high fives. only the trim left to paint and we'll have ourselves one finished room to cross off the list.

I went to bed last night feeling a huge sense of accomplishment and with back spasms. I may not be moving well today but we almost have a bedroom! and that my friends is something to celebrate, with another margarita perhaps.

happy weekend

happy weekend friends! can you guess where we will be?

eight months old (+ a week or so)

a little late on my e update but well, we've been busy. 





my dear eleanor, it has been quite a month little one, both for you and for our little family.

about a week into your seventh month you traded your army crawl for full fledged on all fours crawling and you haven't stopped since. seriously, you are fast. you also decided that standing would be your new favorite position and so you continue to pull yourself up on just about anything. at first you would just fall/plop back down and it was so cute to watch you stick your cute little behind out as if feeling for the ground. you have now gotten quite proficient at sitting back down from standing. you are also walking along tables and couches. there have been a few missed landings and one busted lip but you haven't let any of that nonsense stop you from exploring. you are quite literally everywhere and in everything. i have found you inside cabinets, over and under tables, stuck under cabinet doors, and yesterday after turning my back for two minutes i found you on the second step going for the third. my heart stopped beating for a second as i scooped my brave little girl up. it is so fun to watch you play and explore your world.

we bought a house baby. a house for you to grow up in, a house for you to play in, a house for you to be a big sister in. we spend just about every day there working now and you seem to be quite at home in your wonderland of boxes. your mobility and determination to put anything you can get in your hand into your mouth has led to some stressful moments as we attempt to update a 100+ year old house. i wish i could teach you to take down the wallpaper instead of trying to eat it or to hold a paintbrush.

we went to florida a few weeks ago. we drove 19 hours each way to relax for a week on the beach. you loved the sand and of course wanted to eat it. i spent most of the time trying to keep you from doing so. we swam in the pool and you were a natural as we knew you would be. you have always been such a water baby.

we are still doing baby led weaning. you are pretty much sticking with fruits and vegetables and some occasional low sodium breads. you love pasta and even tried a few rice dishes this past month including indian food. these last few weeks i've been trying to be more diligent about giving you something to eat at each of my mealtimes. you don't seem to care much about food yet and i'm not sure how much you actually ingest but you are happy to discover everything i put in front of you. you have rejected the idea of a sippy cup but have been drinking water from a straw since you were about five and a half months old. we were at dinner the other day when someone came over and said, "is she the baby that drinks from a straw?" i guess you are well know around these parts.

you really love kenya. when we ask you where kenya is you get very excited while looking around for her. she continues to love you too as you are always giving her extra food. you have an incredible ability to make a mess darling. whether with your food, or the contents of my purse, or every book on the shelf, or everything on the coffee table, or just everything really you seem to take great pleasure in throwing it all on the ground.

you are so pleasant and just such a lovely little girl. you continue to delight everyone that meets you. people remark on three things consistently upon meeting you. after asking how old you are they usually say, "really only _ months?" sometimes i get the feeling that they think i'm not telling the truth. secondly people often remark on your hair. i apologize for this my dear as i fear your crazy hair came from your mama but i assure you that it won't always be this way. thirdly and most frequently people ask if you are always this happy. and the truth is you are, you are such a joy! i have loved every moment of being your mother. every stage has been enjoyable but i must say that this stage right now is so much fun. you seem to be growing and learning at such a high rate and it is so amazing to watch. i am so glad that i get to be a part of these moments with you.